called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
