She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
