I got chris browned last night
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
