Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
