I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
