whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize