You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
wakey wakey hands off snakey
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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