and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize