I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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