I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize