I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
