How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
