I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
