we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
