just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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