The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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