i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
