So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
