sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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