By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
