Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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