He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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