You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize