i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
