If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
