The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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