I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
