are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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