I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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