Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
