All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
