i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
