I didn't shave. On purpose
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
