is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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