he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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