Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
