Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
