I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
