im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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