Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
