The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
