do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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