about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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