ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize