i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
