ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
