so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
