The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
