I bet he comes in French.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
