Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It was confusing and full of hummus
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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