bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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