is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
