you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
