highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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