We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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