I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
